AP /Aggie Kenny
In this courtroom sketch former Penn State University assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky, center, makes a statement during his sentencing hearing, as Sandusky's attorney Joe Amendola, right, listens.
Below are court notes of the statement Jerry Sandusky made in court before the former Penn State assistant football coach was sentenced on 45 counts of child sex abuse. Some of the abuse took place while Sandusky was the school's defensive coordinator under legendary coach, Joe Paterno. The notes, which are not all verbatim, were taken by NBC News producers. The court documents of actual testimony should be released within the next few weeks.
I feel I need to talk, not from arrogance, but from my heart.
There is so much I want to say, I've been advised not to say it.
I did not do these alleged disgusting acts.
Hopefully my words will impact one person.
Please don't close the book today at my sentencing.
As I began to relive everything, I began to remember my feelings, and so many people were hurt.
Many moments have been spent, looking for a purpose.
Maybe it will help others, some vulnerable children who might have been abused maybe wouldn't be because of this publicity.
Hopefully we can get better as a result of our hardship and suffering.
These are people I cared about, still do.
I used to think of ways to praise them.
Life has become more difficult for us, for the most part I am confined to one room"
In fact there is a Second Mile person there.
I have hit many walls in the last few years.
I told Dottie that day, we are definitely in the 4th quarter, as I said to my players, you find out who's with you in the 4th quarter.
She and others are standing strong.
I'd like to believe they know me the most.
There's much to fight, you don't have to look very far to see the invested factions, that doesn't matter.
There's a lot of darkness in that room.
Not being able to see our children mature.
When I look at those walls again I see the light.
I see special inmates, who smile.
I see kids laughing and playing and my heart warms.
Others can take away my life, they can make me out as a monster, they can treat me as a monster, but they can't take away my heart.
My wife has been my only sex partner in life, and that was after marriage.
I wish I could remember the hurt and take away the pain.
All the suffering it takes to win an athletic conference.
I enjoyed making albums, writing, being different.
I tried to bring joy, to make people laugh.
One was about the movie Seabiscuit, a favorite of mine, I love people who won't quit, I love the underdog.
Today is a difficult day, I'm being labeled and being sentenced.
Life goes on, wherever that might be, I've been blessed, I've been to the mountain top, I've seen the valley of death.
I've been in the locker room as National champs.
I've enjoyed life's simple pleasures.
I've been to ghettos and trailer parks, to try and find Second Mile kids.
I've seen lives end.
I've been kissed by dogs, I've been bitten by dogs.
I've also been different. I've been (?) I've been loved, I've been hated.
I've lived long enough to cherish many memories.
They were going to laugh, to cry, because that's who we are.
Some of the labeling and the treatment hurt, but they don't compare to their absence.
It would be unmanageable without God's light without God's love.