But, that doesn't mean they aren't going to try.
The Sixers want to improve on their 27th-ranked attendance figures, but since winning or the playoffs isn’t a likely option they have come up with a few self-proclaimed "Fan-tastic" promo ideas for March.
The Sixers will start the month with Elton Brand Night on Monday vs. Orlando featuring Elton prizes for some fans.
We know what you're thinking, but this night could actually be fun since it will also be “Dollar Pretzel Night” where SuperPretzel will sell cheap pretzels all night.
Channeling the Phillies marketing success and sticking with the dollar food theme, the Sixers will hold “Dollar Dog Night” March 10 vs. Charlotte and March 22 vs. the Magic. Getting a buck hot dog and watching Dwight Howard might draw a few extra fans.
But the 76ers have plans on bringing sexy back too when they host Dancers Alumni Night March 15 vs. the Knicks.
The festivities will include 50 former dancers who will shake it with the current squad for a special halftime performance.
The first 5,000 fans will also get a Sixers Dancers poster. Going home with a Sixers Dancers poster could be a nice prize considering the fans could have to sit through a game against the equally bad Knicks.
On St. Patrick’s Day the Sixers will be getting in the Irish spirit when they host the lowly Nets.
Fans can get their hands on on two tickets, two green 76ers hats and two green beers for $59 as part of the St. Patrick’s Day Recession Busters ticket package. And don't worry, the green beer will be available to all of-age fans. A green beer and a hot dog will sell for just 5 bucks at the AT&T Pavilion.
Fans might need a beer or two if the Sixers lose to the five-win Nets who are on their way to breaking the 1972-73 Sixers record of 9-73.
And, Andre Iguodala Night get his own night on March 20 vs. Chicago. The first 5,000 kids (12 and under) will get an Iggy figurine and all fans can grab some A.I. (no not that A.I.) merch at a 25-percent discount.
There was a chance that those 5,000 Iguodala figurines would have been in the basement of the Wachovia Center if the Sixers had pulled the trigger on a trade deadline deal for the veteran swingman.