Housekeeping is a must when it comes to relationships. You’ve been hiding that dirty laundry in every nook and cranny for fear that new interest may leave once you air it out. Those skeletons in the closet begin to creep up on you even though you thought they’d never resurface. We all have a past that may not be squeaky clean or pass inspection 100 percent, but is that going to stop you from having a future with someone? Or can you make the past become a distant memory altogether?
The reality is we all have a collection of skeletons, but the sad part is others may have a graveyard. There are certain things in your past that will always continue to haunt you. A new love may have a bone to pick with you if they find out about that five-year stint at Ryker’s Island or that infamous video with a little freaky deaky moment begins circulating around the web. That may be why you got that transmitted disease.
Maybe it’s that your credit card rating is low and you’re so buried in credit card debt you can’t even get a gas card. Your future mate may feel pressure to be your Knight in shiny armor and dig you out.
On the lighter side, some of your skeletons can just be chalked up to being in your twenties. Hey, you were young and dumb, especially when it came to your dating history. Someone once told me why do you want to settle for so and so's sloppy seconds? Then I thought, well…aren't we all someone else’s sloppy seconds?
Our past relationships make us who we are. Hopefully you’ll learn from your old experiences and take that knowledge into the new one. It’s OK to find someone who's been around the block as long as they haven't been around the whole state. If so, than ignorance IS bliss.
So you may not get the award for having the cleanest background in the world, but it’s not a good idea to sweep your past under the carpet. Eventually those dust mites will turn up -- trust me! Just as important as it is for you to understand your past in order to know where you’re going, the same is true for your mate. It’s not fair to short-change them the important details of your background if it can potentially affect them in the long run. Don’t be selfish.
Yes, people can change, but realistically speaking, by nature we are creatures of habit. If he or she was notorious for sleeping around in the past long before “Saving The Date,” I guarantee they’ll do the same afterwards with no problem.
Keep in mind, giving the rundown on your history does not have to be a bad thing. You can be thorough without selling your soul. And please, spare that new prospect of all the intimate details that truly aren’t necessary. Didn’t you read last week there is such a thing as T.M.I!
All in all, so what if your record has never been expunged! Love is about meeting individuals where they are and accepting them for who they are -- dirt or no dirt.
Do you have a dating dilemma? Send Stephanie and Matt your story and questions and you may be featured on the next installment of Save the Date.