So you’ve made it through the first round of exams and in your book, pretty much made the cut. Suddenly, you realize the relationship curriculum just got a little harder. The final exam -- meeting the parents -- is right around the corner. You know that unless you get the A+ stamp of approval from mom, you might be packing up your notes and starting your course of love with a new lab partner.
Some extra credit support from your mate might help you make the grade. But if you’re dealing with the teacher’s pet and he’s willing to cut all ties based on mom’s remarks, you officially have a Momma’s Boy on your hands.
To all momma's boys:
Let's fess up. There comes a point in our lives when we have to cut the umbilical cord. As women, we know most guys have that special connection with mom, but let’s be real -- how far should it go? If you seriously want things to work out with your significant other, you might want to think twice about how to shuffle that #1 spot.
Now don’t get me wrong, I would never say the love of your life should ever make mom play second or third chair. So, for all of you who are out there trying, give it up, It’s not going to happen! From special dishes to those heart-to-hearts, Momma Dukes always knows the deal because she wrote the book. However, if “Saving the Date” is in your future and you have a mother that’s always willing to offer her opinion ever so freely, it’s time to rewrite a few rules of the game for everyone’s sanity.
Reassure her of the special bond you you'll cherish. Her thoughts and opinions are the core of your values. But also let mom know that her toddler is an adult and can ride the love roller coaster alone. She needs to respect the fact that you've grown up and are moving towards beginning a family of your own.
Just remember, if you don’t cut the cord, you might end up having someone like “Mrs. B” from "Momma’s Boys" calling the shots in your marriage!
To all women dating a momma's boy:
First, you have to respect that their bond (mom and son) is literally from day one and family is family. Don't try to separate. Moms only want to see their baby boy happy. So if you really like this guy, play it like this, “Can't beat ‘em, join ‘em." Try to win her over.
Form an alliance. Next time you're at dinner, ask if she needs help. She'll say "no," but put it out there anyway. Plan a day together. Go get a manicure or do lunch. At that point you can share your feelings on how much her son means to you. Plus, during that quality time you can see what traits your boyfriend is probably looking for and use that to your advantage.
Now if for some reason he's living in a time warp, thinking it's the 1950's and he's looking for someone to completely take care of him (cooking, cleaning and picking up after him), put him in his place. Tell him to grow up! Let him know that this relationship is a partnership and you're no June Cleaver. If he has a hard time with that, then he truly doesn't respect a woman.
This all works unless mom is just so over the top -- the biggest “B” on the planet and feels nobody is good enough for her little man. If you start to pick up some crazy Oedipal vibe, then you need to disown that family fast because that's one threesome you don't want to get involved in.
Do you have a dating dilemma? Send Stephanie and Matt your story and questions and you may be featured on the next installment of Save the Date.