Save the Date: The Serial Dater

At some point in time throughout your history of dating we all have been hit by this smooth criminal. This person is part arsonist with a past of burning a lot of bridges along their way--to the point where Ex's wish something worse than death.  Mixed with some traits of a thief, they master the skill of stealing hearts without any remorse for anyone but themselves—very narcissistic!

Perhaps this might all stem from their childhood where the absence of love has turned them into an addict, constantly craving attention and getting high from the instant gratification of any new prospects. Their split personality tells you what you want to hear, even though there is a hidden agenda in place.

So how do you see the red flags? How do you prevent becoming a victim again? What should you be on the look out for when it comes to profiling a Serial Dater?


Once you figure out your own dating intentions, whether you just want to be out there and socialize or you’re looking for something long term, then you can move forward and identify this perpetrator.

Start by paying attention to the details. Your best defense is common sense—they will make mistakes.

Take mental notes. Are they repeating the same stories or constantly getting you confused with someone else? Not just calling you the wrong name, that would be too obvious, but mentioning something they thought you would know, “we've been here before, right?”

Another tell-tale sign is when you call them, you never get them on the line. Voice mail again, ugh! They're screening their calls for a reason. Serial Dater’s Rule #1: When you are on a date, keep the phone on vibrate. Well, at least that's what I've heard.

The grand daddy of all tips is if they spent the last several years on various dating Web sites, from Match to E-Harmony to Yahoo Personals etc. Without sounding like an interrogation, you both can joke about some of your dating horror stories. Then, listen up because without thinking, they may reveal a little too much information—TMI.

Now, I'm not saying run for the hills, just know what you’re dealing with. Who knows, you can possibly get into their head and have them COMMITTED.


Before you cry wolf for being a victim of the “serial dater”, you might need to try out another form of FBI—launch that Full Blown Investigation—on yourself! Truth be known, nobody wants to fall prey to this predator, but don’t think you’re exempt from the line up just yet. Your sketch might fit the perfect description of this master mind.

Forget the idea of being able to keep the names of love interests straight, you know you’re a serial dater when you move to talk about trivia pursuit by avoiding in-depth convo about his/her family, favorite movie or hobby.

If you find yourself constantly on dating Web sites friending friends of friends you’ve never met before, but think are cute, consider yourself officially in the red zone.

Oh, and if you’ve been checking out those “how-to-become a serial dater” blogspots/Web sites, just give it up. Now you know you’ve been caught red handed with your hand in the cookie jar and are not only guilty of being a fake serial dater but also being pretty lame!

Still bragging to everyone about being an eternal bachelor/bachelorette? Get real. After you reach a certain age, eventually you have to give up the title, unless you don’t mind running the game forever.

Do you have a dating dilemma?  Send Stephanie and Matt your story and questions and you may be featured on the next installment of Save the Date.

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