Porn Company Wants to Sponsor Houston Texans

It'll never happen

By EAMONN BRENNAN

Updated 5:14 PM EST, Mon, Jul 6, 2009

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The NFL is like anything else: When a recession hits, advertising revenues go down. That's especially true for segments like, say, automobiles -- GM can barely afford to keep the lights on, let alone manufacture cars; sponsoring professional football teams is suddenly way, way down on the list.

Which is why NFL teams will have to start looking to other sources of advertising and sponsorship revenue, to start targeting recession-proof businesses for ad dollars. And what's more recession-proof than porn?

Yes, Zero Tolerance Entertainment, which is apparently some sort of adult video distributor -- fortunately, we don't have to uncomfortably feign lack of knowledge here; we've really never heard of this company before -- has offered the Houston Texans a deal that probably didn't last five seconds on the marketing officer's desk before it hit the trash can. The Texans are open to sponsorship on their practice jerseys, and Zero Tolerance is hoping the Texans are, um, tolerant toward the idea.

In a press release circulated by Scott Stein, the company’s director of marketing, Zero Tolerance claimed that an offer involving “several zeros” was made to the Texans. “Every team in the league starts the season by saying, that they’ll have Zero Tolerance for losing,” the press release states. “While our offer may not be taken seriously, there is some undeniable synergy between the NFL and the name of our company.”

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Cheerleaders of the NFL

Synergy between the name of the company and the NFL -- which is doubtful at best, anyway -- is probably not enough to offset the costs of doing business with a porn company. It's sometimes difficult to forget that we live in the post nipple-slip era; anything that counteracts that ethic is not worth the trouble. Especially for practice jersey revenue.

Nice try, Zero Tolerance. And hey, we're talking about you now. Mission accomplished.

Eamonn Brennan is a Chicago-based writer, editor and blogger. You can also read him at Yahoo! Sports, Mouthpiece Sports Blog, and Inside The Hall, or at his personal site, eamonnbrennan.com. Follow him on Twitter.