Every week, we’ll give you a quick scouting report of the Eagles’ upcoming opponent. Tonight, that opponent is the Jacksonville Jaguars.
The Opponent: The Jacksonville Jaguars, a.k.a. The Jags, a.k.a. the Jagwires (if you're Dan Patrick), a.k.a. the Jag-yoo-ahs (if you're in a British rock band), a.k.a. The Los Angeles Great Whites (tentative 2012 nickname).
The Line: Eagles by 3.5. But really, what are you doing betting on preseason NFL games? Are you crazy? There’s no way of predicting the outcome of these things. Unless you overheard something I didn’t. You did, didn’t you? You’ve got the inside scoop. I can feel it. I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE THROWN THREE LARGE DOWN ON THIS ONE! Excuse me for a moment while I hit up Bodog.
Last Season: 7-9. The Jags ended their season by dropping four straight games and were outscored by their opponents by a total of 90 points. They have the worst attendance in football and, at this point, are practically a ghost franchise. Yeah, there are franchises out there with worse records (Raiders, Browns, Lions), but at least they have, you know, fans and stuff.
The Jags are in much worse shape in terms of overall apathy and indifference. Enjoy them in their current incarnation, folks. It’s not gonna last.
The Coach: Jack Del Rio. Of course, you know Del Rio best from his smash 80s duet “Take Me Home Tonight,” performed with the legendary Ronnie Spector. Others prefer “Two Tickets To Paradise,” but that’s minor Del Rio to me.
The Offense: You’ll see a bit of David Garrard tonight before he gives way to Luke McCown and rookie Trevor Harris. The Jags offense consists of Maurice Jones-Drew and the occasional long pass to Mike Sims-Walker. After that, things get pretty dire. Take it from someone who’s seen Troy Williamson drop an easy 30-yard gain, and then do it again four plays later.
The Defense: John Henderson is gone to Oakland, which means the last trace of the Henderson/Stroud DT combo, for a long time one of football’s best, is done forever. Picking up the pass rushing slack is ex-Packer Aaron Kampman, who was so poorly used in Green Bay I want to send Dom Capers to prison for it.
Key Matchup: None. It’s the preseason. Tonight, your job as an Eagles fan will be to watch Kevin Kolb as closely as possible to make sure he runs the offense smoothly. If he does, you can get excited. If he doesn’t, by all means feel free to panic and pace around the room until the next preseason game.