Everybody has already read that Todd Purdum piece on Sarah Palin in Vanity Fair, right? If you didn't, don't despair -- it's a bazillion words long and doesn't really contain anything new. The gist is basically that Sarah Palin is a dangerous, egomaniacal idiot and we should all be glad she didn't end up in the vice presidency, or heaven forbid, eventually the presidency. Whatever, Purdum, tell us something we didn't know!
The Palin profile in Runner's World, on the other hand, delivers all sorts of exciting revelations and secrets about this fascinating political personality. For example, did you know that she prefers to run alone? Or that she listens to Van Halen, AC/DC, country music, and Amy Grant on her solitary rambles through the woods?
It all sounds pretty cute until you come upon a truly shocking disclosure. Apparently, Palin habitually mocked poor John McCain, a man who suffers constant and intense physical pain from his many years in Vietnamese captivity, by inviting him to go running with her:
In terms of wanting to get out there with political friends, I used to joke around with John McCain during the campaign about coming jogging with me. And once I asked him what his favorite exercise was, and he said, 'I go wading.' Wading. He lives on a creek in Arizona, so he goes wading. That cracked me up.
Ha ha! Yes, it is so hilarious when feeble, elderly men admit they are feeble and elderly. What kind of a sadist is Sarah Palin? Why, she's even more of a monster than even Todd Purdum could have imagined ... so secretive and paranoid that she swore her security detail to silence when she accidentally took a spill while running.
In Palin's world, any show of physical frailty provides an opening for unknown, unseen, but wholly menacing usurpers. So she jogs on through the frigid Alaskan dawn, teeth clenched in grim determination, performing ever more conspicuous feats of strength, lest someone (Putin? NARAL? Polar bears?) try to make a move for her throne.