Puck Headlines: Melrose takes his mullet and goes home

Here are your Afternoon and/or Morning Puck Headlines: A glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.

• Barry Melrose signs a three-year deal to return to ESPN, because there's no better analyst than one who recently showed the game has passed him by. Steve Levy's erection still hasn't subsided since hearing the news. Can't wait for the first edition of the Barnaby-Melrose debates. Opening topic: Who gets air time on ESPNews at 1 a.m. on a Tuesday? [Going Five Hole]

• The roster for the Sean Avery meeting with the NHL today in New York. [NHL]

• Speaking of rosters, Avery is off the Dallas Stars' Web site roster. Figured that was a suspension formality until the Dallas PR staff told Sportsnet that it was a "technology issue." Writing, meet wall. [Stars]

• Darryl Sutter goes after the media for its coverage of the Avery situation. [Two-Line Pass]

We must bow to the Fox Sports poll on what Sean Avery should have said instead of "Sloppy Seconds." C'mon: "Slamming Home the Easy Rebound" is pretty much genius. [Sporting Blog]

• He's not the captain, he doesn't want to be the face of the franchise ... so columnist Mark Bradley believes that it's time the Atlanta Thrashers ship Ilya Kovalchuk out of town. That sound you just heard was 29 teams lining up with their rosters and checkbooks. [AJC]

• A fan is in the hospital after falling from the upper deck in Ottawa last night. [AP]

• EJ Hradek offers a strange list of coaches on the hot seat. Andy Murray has a mulligan this season, right? And didn't Paul Maurice just get hired? [ESPN]

• Was Daniel Briere rushed back from injury too quickly by the Philadelphia Flyers, causing him to suffer a "significant" groin injury and miss even more time? The Flyers would never have a player come back before he's ready (*cough*Lindros*cough*). [Philly.com]

• When Wayne Gretzky speaks, Canada listens. So will they back off the whole Phoenix Coyotes relocation thing after Gretzky's support of the team's fortunes? "It makes economic sense that teams can't continually lose money or you have to look for alternatives ... I can't speak for the teams in Florida or other teams, but our team isn't going anywhere." [Sun Media]

• Slowly but surely, Cory Schneider is learning what playing goal on the NHL level is like for the Vancouver Canucks. [CBC Sports]

• Attention people of Grand Rapids: Chris Chelios is on his way. [Red Wings]

• Is Guillaume Latendresse of the Montreal Canadiens on his last chance? "Anyone who played hockey as a youth knows every kids team has at least one ankle skater. He's the kid who doesn't pick his feet up when skating, but rather shuffles along the ice without ever taking a real stride. Latendresse is the NHL equivalent of an ankle skater. And if he doesn't pick it up, his spot in Montreal could be gone for good." [The Hockey News]

• There's a lot of inexperience and a lot of potential on the U.S. world juniors roster. [NHL]

Brian Rolston is back and skating with the New Jersey Devils, which would be much more exciting for the Devils if he were an all-star defenseman or goalie. [Fire & Ice]

• Pepper, you had us at "Patrick Division." [The Red Skate]

• Puck the Media has great news about U.S. local hockey ratings and some rough news out of Canada.

• Finally, it doesn't get any better than minor league hockey commercials:

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