Eat Valentine's Day Dinner Inside An Elephant

Looking for the best place to spend Valentine’s Day with your sweetheart? Look no more! It is in an elephant’s ass. You’re welcome.

Lucy the Elephant, a large elephant-looking structure/museum/monument overlooking the beach in Margate, N.J., is inviting all lovers to eat Valentine’s Day dinner…well, inside of her.

That’s right folks, impress the one you love by shelling out (there’s a peanut joke there somewhere) $245, plus tax, plus a $40 gratuity per couple on Saturday Feb. 14. This includes a choice of five appetizers; soup; choice of three salads; choice of five entrées; choice of two sides; dessert and coffee.

There will be live music and a complimentary champagne toast on top of Lucy on her howdah. Ladies will receive a long-stemmed rose and men will receive a bag of peanuts.

If the peanuts and the fantastic weirdness haven’t convinced you yet, well then maybe statements from Lucy the Elephant’s Web site will. How can you not want to bring your honey to a place that tells you to “See out her posterior window, a.k.a. ‘the pane in her butt!’?” Further enticement includes: “You can view the ocean through her eyeballs!” The site also calls Lucy “The World’s Largest Elephant,” which is a bit odd as the slogan makers imply Lucy is in fact an elephant, and not an edifice resembling an elephant…but I digress.

You can’t say it wouldn’t be a memorable Valentine’s Day. Whatever doesn’t make you break up, makes you laugh your asses off, right?

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