The Golden Globes, unlike the Oscars, run a tight ship, committed to wrapping things up in their allotted three hours. But well before the first hour was over, the evening's winners were making it tough.
Kate Winslet, who previously won two Globes for her work in 2009's "The Reader," and thus should know better, took the stage to accept the Best Actress in a Miniseries or TV Film award, for her work in "Mildred Pierce."
Winslet was effusive in her gratitude for director Todd Haynes, but she was only warming up, as she launched into a litany of thanks that literally included everyone involved, right on down to the truck drivers. Before you could shout, "Cue the orchestra!" the music began to swell up from the pit.
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Gervais was clearly prepared for the occasion as the next time he took the stage, he advised winners to keep their "thank yous" to a minimum.
"Just do the main two: your agent and God… I know in my case they've had the same amount of impact on my career."
But his advice fell on deaf ears, as "Homeland" writer/developer Howard Gordon blathered on long enough to strike up the band. Moments later Gordon was followed by Ludovic Bource, who'd just won Best Score for "The Artist." You'd think a guy who won for a silent film would be able to keep it brief, and yet...
And then the Material Girl herself, Madonna, was dumbstruck in accepting Best Original Song, taking a good 10 seconds to get started, before prattling on and on, even speaking over the progressively louder orchestra for about 15 seconds.