phillie phanatic

Philly Is Having Existential Meltdown After Report of Phanatic's ‘New Look'

People are worried about what this "new-look" Phanatic expected to be unveiled this weekend will mean for their well being

You don't see anybody clamoring for them to put lipstick on Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa. Or a pair of Air Jordans on Michelangelo's David.

Some masterpieces are works of art that should live on forever as great artists intended.

That's how many in Philadelphia seem to feel about the Phillie Phanatic this afternoon following Jim Salisbury's report that our beloved green mascot will undergo some cosmetic and likely physical changes that will debut this Sunday down in Clearwater when the Phils play their first game of spring training.

It's worth noting: da Vinci and Michelangelo aren't currently embattled in any legal issues that we know of at the moment. Because they're dead.

That said, people are worried about what this "new-look" Phanatic will mean for their well being. A sampling:

Fans of the big green fella from the Galapagos will have to wait until Sunday to see if their freakouts were unwarranted or if they're going to have to find a new mascot to idolize. It's going to be a long weekend for them.

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