Most of us know the old saying, “If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail.” Maybe that's why even in love we try to map out and visualize all the expectations we have and the attributes our future mate should possess. Before this relationship can ever take off, we go through the rundown creating a checklist. Like a pilot, we go through each appropriate category checking things off as he/she meets our standards.
But what happens when not all of your check boxes are filled? While your mate is on the tarmac, stuck in stand-by mode, you have to decide if this will ultimately delay or even stop love from ever taking flight -- all because you created “the list.”
Steph:
There are all kinds of lists we create in our heads. Some are more important than others, which is why sometimes they need to be written down on paper to serve as reminders so we don’t forget.
However, when it comes to making a shopping wish list for your mate, there are a few things that you have to consider:
1) You can’t make a huge laundry list of unrealistic expectations that will never be met.
2) Even if you’re obsessive compulsive, not every box will be filled with a check.
3) Determine the top three to five values you absolutely can’t live without and cross everything else out.
Now fellas, don’t go pointing the finger, accusing the ladies of being too picky. We know the deal -- guys make all kinds of lists too! In fact, some of yours may be a little more unreasonable and longer than some of ours. But, I’m not saying they’re unnecessary.
Everyone should have some type of standards. Whether you choose to write them down is up to you. As we go through life, they’ll change over time, but key qualifications will stay the same.
Be open to giving people a chance because you never know what you could be missing out on. When you meet that person who sweeps you off your feet, you may have to toss that list out the window altogether.
Matt:
Hair color: check. Height: check. Career: check. Just like that plane, your love life needs a standard operating procedure (SOP) to be in place for your own safety. It makes no sense to attempt to proceed with a potential relationship if there's a strong chance that it will crash and burn. Certain things on the list can't be overlooked or compromised.
Guys, and possibly ladies, it all boils down to what you are a sucker for. We all have a type or even a quirky fetish. It's not being picky, it's just that the only person that knows what gets you going is you.
So ask yourself, “What is your dealmaker?” For example on the physical part, if certain hair color or length is your thing, then go with it. You'll never be happy if you settle for a strawberry blonde when you are constantly getting whiplash every time a brunette beauty enters the room.
Now for the inner attributes -- qualities like humor, intelligence, being outgoing, or compassionate don't just grow with time. They either have it or they don't.
Note: Sarcasm doesn't count in the humor department. It's just not funny -- but then again, that could be your thing.
When it comes down to it, all these checks are simply pieces to your big puzzle. The hardest piece and definitely the biggie is to be IN LOVE. It's out there, you just have to be patient.
Maybe that explains why I'm still single. Hey remember, it's a wish list, a boy can dream.
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