Let’s take it back to your first school dance in a music filled gymnasium where the beats are flowing. You find yourself with your back glued to the wall, scanning the room until one person catches your eye. After the next song you’re going to cross the room and introduce yourself. While you pump yourself up by saying “you’re going to do this!” It's not until several songs have played you finally make your way over, only to get shot down. REJECTED!
With your head down, the walk back seems longer -- almost in slow motion. With every step, you feel you’re in the spotlight and all eyes are on you, witnessing your failure.
So what’s it going to take for you to get back on the dance floor? How can you regain your confidence and not be a lonely wallflower.
Matt:
From one on turtle to another, you need to get out of your shell. Think of how many opportunities have been blown just because you were too afraid to take a chance. Take it from my friend Rich, "the answer is always no if you don't ask.”
Decide if you’d rather go through the rest of your life being alone or handle a brief moment of rejection. You'll find strength in numbers. For all the no's and not interested, eventually you will get a yes.
Most self-help gurus agree that if you’re fixated on your weaknesses, you should write down your best qualities. You have a lot more than you think. Then have someone close to you review the list. Who knows, they may have some great things to add to the list. If there is something you don't like about yourself, come to terms with it and start working towards fixing it.
I've always been very insecure about my smile -- actually it was more like a smirk. So I decided to have it corrected. Instantly, I felt better. These days, I've noticed I tend to smile a lot, which makes me more approachable. Granted, it wasn't cheap, but the only person who should be investing in you is you. Remember you are the CEO of Y-O-U.
Now for the guys, you can always go to a Gentleman's Club. I know it sounds a little crude, but where else are you going to get an attractive woman telling you, “You’re adorable, you’re so funny and asking why you’re single?” Hey it's cheaper than going to a psychiatrist. Wait a minute, from what I’ve “heard,” lap dances at $20 per song can get very expensive. Scratch that. That's solely based on what I've been told.
Steph:
Just because you’ve never taken on that dare devil role doesn’t mean it’s okay to go running for cover the first time disaster strikes.
Life is all about taking risks. Let’s face it, if you never, ever take a chance at going after the things you want, you’re basically cheating yourself out of happiness.
Nobody is ever 100-percent confident about approaching someone who’s caught their eye. Rejection is always a possibility, but it’s how you play your cards that can ultimately affect the outcome.
Believe it or not, most women find shyness attractive. There’s something about the hint of innocence mixed in with a bit of mysteriousness that can have anyone getting a little weak in the knees.
One of your minor physical flaws or hang-ups may very well turn out to be one of the major things your new mate finds endearing.
Be confident about what you’re working with. Notice I did NOT say arrogant. There’s a difference. Cockiness is annoying and a major turnoff. However, if you go into the challenge with your game face on, ready to prove there couldn’t possibly any other option than you, because you’re simply the BEST catch -- how could anyone turn that up!
Stay away from the corny pick-up lines. Try your best to be yourself no matter how much you’re captivated by his/her beauty.
Next time you get caught up in a little shell shock, don’t let fear become your enabler. Do whatever you need to do to shake it off so that later on down the road you’ll eventually be on your way to saving the date!
Do you have a dating dilemma? Send Stephanie and Matt your story and questions and you may be featured on the next installment of Save the Date.
