Together, you’ve been trucking through the battlefield of love. During the journey you’ve hit some highs and lows. There have been times you felt you were backed into a corner when all of a sudden the theme of your relationship becomes “it’s my way or the highway."
Next thing you know the pressure is on. Your first line of defense might have you longing to retreat, but you’re not ready to give up on your relationship yet. Just when you thought you and your partner were on the same side, he or she is ready to change the course and giving you an ultimatum. Now you’re at a major turning point wondering if the victory is worth fighting for.
Matt:
They always say “if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen." In this case, it's the relationship. Putting a fire underneath your mate's butt will most likely have them running in the opposite direction.
Expressing your feelings and letting them know you want to take your relationship to the next level Whether marriage or moving in together, might not be the best course of action. You can't force them to sh#@! or get off the pot because when something goes wrong, they'll be resentful and feeling that this is what you wanted and not what they wanted.
The best thing to do is wait it out. Some just need more time than others. Now if we’re talking years and they still aren't mentioning long term, then maybe it's time to move on. It seems they are holding on for something better.
If you cry wolf all the time and threaten to leave, then just do it. You'll get a real idea of how much your boyfriend or girlfriend values you. Remember, you can only encourage them to take the plunge, not push them over the edge.
Steph:
Once you start dishing out ultimatums brace yourself and be prepared to suffer the consequences! Insecurity and suspicion instantly become your number one ally when it comes to walking this tight rope.
What’s at the heart of your motives? Is it about your partner or you? Think about it, who is it that really has the problem? You say you want commitment or something more, but be honest, have you really proven to your partner they can be secure with you? Watch out, because you may not be disguising your insecurities as well as you think. In fact, this last ditch effort may end up revealing much more about your own character. You’re either trying to control or manipulate the other person into loving you. The only problem is we’re humans not puppets!
Demanding certain conditions to get what you want with that lifelong mate may work for the moment, but I guarantee it won’t last a lifetime.
Do you have a dating dilemma? Send Stephanie and Matt your story and questions. You may be featured on the next installment of Save the Date.
