You’re still in the early stages of getting to know that new prospect and things appear to be going smooth. But there’s something that has you scratching your head wondering if he or she is really just looking to have a good time with no strings attached.
The uncertainty has you imagining them as one of those super big rubber balls that was dumped at the high point of their previous relationship and now is bouncing around like crazy. They’ve become very unpredictable on which direction to go next, deflecting off the hands of anyone trying to nab this so called “catch.”
Just when you think you’ve gotten the ball under control, it slips through your hands continuing to ricochet and knock down walls of whoever tries to make contact, leaving you simply defenseless. Now you’re left debating is it possible or even worth it to try to hold on to someone who's coming off a rebound?
Steph:
Rebounds are a good thing when they're on the court but if your feelings are on the line you’re better off dodging the ball or dribbling the other way altogether.
It’s easy to get caught up in the budding of a new relationship. You may think you’ve scored a huge win with this one, but don’t go getting rid of your own starting line up quite yet. If you haven’t had the "the talk" about the direction the two of you are going, don’t be surprised once the whistle is blown. In fact, you just might get a penalty for false starting or crying foul because once you tried to lock down your mate, a dose of reality sets in that you’re officially the rebound.
Don’t misunderstand. This doesn’t mean you have to switch it up and play defense. Stay on the offensive side and be cool. Think you can hang without being called to the foul line for too much emotional involvement? Then go for it!
Just remember, if you’re certain you can’t deal with it, walk away before you get a technical.
Matt:
Now at one point in our dating lives we've all been on both sides of the ball. So it should be easy for you to relate and to gauge how hard was the fall. I know it rhymes—move on.
With all those thoughts bouncing in your head, ask yourself how long was their previous relationship? Was it serious—were they married, engaged, living together or simply very exclusive? How much time has passed since their break?
This will let you know if there's still some bounce left. Even though they’re unpredictable, they usually tend to gravitate toward one direction—their ex. Find out if their feelings are genuine or just out of habit. To you everything feels natural, like you've known each other for a long time--You've hit it off! The problem is they don't know any better. Being in a relationship is all they know, and before you know it, they finally realize it too springing back into action.
Instead of trying to make the catch, your best bet is to wait until they get what ever it is out of their system—a.k.a “the hook up phase” and they have finally settled down. Then go ahead and pick' em up.
Do you have a dating dilemma? Send Stephanie and Matt your story and questions and you may be featured on the next installment of Save the Date.
