As Kyle from South Park so passionately sang, it’s hard to be a Jew on Christmas.
But it doesn’t have to be.
From nightclubs to rock concerts, there’s a Hanukkah event in Philly that’ll have you thinking: Santa who?
Dec. 20: World’s Largest Menorah Parade
Philly plays host to the world’s largest menorah parade Saturday. Follow it from the Art Museum to Independence hall, where there will be a kickoff parade set before a 25-foot menorah. The celebration will include latkes, live music and fire jugglers.
7 p.m. at Eakins Oval
Rob Tannenbaum and David Fagin are “Good for the Jews,” a comedy-rock act from New York. Between them, their credits include Vh1’s "So Jewtastic" special, Howard Stern’s radio show and Dennis Miller’s radio show. And their songs include such treasures as “Hot Jewish Chicks,” “Jdate” and “They Tried to Kill Us (We Survived. Let’s eat)." Opening up for them at World Café Live will be singer-songwriter Adam Brodsky and Matthue Roth, a novelist and performance poet.
7:30 p.m. at World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St.
Dec. 24: Matzo Ball
Held concurrently in more than 20 cities across the country, Matzo Ball is the definitive Christmas Eve event for Jews in the U.S. This is a dress-to-impress night out, with live DJs and drink specials ‘til 2 a.m. Now in it’s 22nd year, Philly’s Matzo Ball will be at the Roxxy, which means Columbis Boulevard will be hoppin’ when much of the rest of the city is asleep, awaiting Santa’s visit.
9 p.m. at the Roxxy, 939 N. Delaware Ave.
Dec. 25: Christmas Day Bowling at North Star Bar
Forget Chinese food and a movie—bowling’s way more fun. And bowing at North Bowl, Northern Liberties’ bowling lounge, is open for a Collaborative event for 20- and 30-somethings. Tickets are just $15, and are available here. RSVPs are recommended.
1 p.m. at North Bowl, 909 N. 2nd St.
Dec. 27: Hanukkah Worldwide at the North Star Bar
Christmas is but a memory—Hanukkah’s still got a couple days to go. Celebrate the rest of the festival of lights at the North Star Bar, where you can rock our to DeLeon and J. Viewz—Jdub Records artists who know how to have a good time. The event is 21+, free and open to the public. So if you’re feeling sympathetic, you can bring your non-Jew friends along.
9 p.m. at the North Star Bar, 2639 Poplar St.