One Year of Firsts: No Coffee Allowed

Day 12

It's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. ~Abraham Lincoln

Today is not just about coffee. It's about life. Maybe a good cup of coffee is a lot like a good life. .Or, maybe I've lost it...Hmmm....

I drink one big cup of coffee EVERY morning. That's it. One cup. Have to have it.  See this morning's distress in following video:

The thing is for some reason I chose to do without my beloved one cup on one of the most stressful days of my year. Today was my biannual cancer check up.

I'm an 18 year breast cancer survivor and it's been eight years since I had a cancerous tumor removed from my right kidney.  I'm cancer free today and healthy.

Anyway, I went to the HUP cancer center  bleary eyed without my coffee. I practically fell asleep during my tests. I was trying to be blase about the whole thing until I saw her. Someone young. Someone pretty with a scarf around her bald head. Someone who made me flash back in an instant on the hell of going through chemo and fighting for your life.

I looked at her a second too long and our eyes met. I wanted to hug her like I was hugging my younger self and tell her it would be okay. But I don't know if she'll be okay.

You never know what's going to happen next. But today I'm still here. Still cancer free.  And if they tell me I have cancer tomorrow or in the future I want to know that I LIVED, LIVED, LIVED.

The freezing air was a slap in the face when I escaped outside.  AHHH. What will I do today?   No coffee? No problem.

Sweet, bitter, warm...I'll enjoy every sip of it tomorrow morning.

Lu Ann Cahn is an Emmy award-winning journalist who's been in the biz for more than 30 years. She's survived motherhood, breast cancer and chasing down bad guys. Now, Lu Ann's trying to complete a year of "firsts." Can she do it? She'll be posting daily here on NBCPhiladelphia.com.

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