Here are your Puck Headlines: A glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.
• Spector's dealing with site issues and Pagnotta is a busy bee, so we're going to skip the chat this week. Jersey Fouls coming up this afternoon, including one for which you'll need to play the Brass Bonanza while vomiting.
• Bangin Panger with the post of the day: a collection of what they feel are the worst fan tattoos found on the Web. This is the first time we've ever noticed the resemblance between Yoda and Danny Briere. And from the looks of things, Mike Bossy could use a spray tan. [Bangin Panger]
• April Fool's Day is pretty much hell on Earth for Web-based journalists, because there are some blogs who are damn good at chicanery. The Chief from A2Y got us good with this farewell blog before joining the mainstream media. His boss, Paul Kukla, got in on the fun with an uncharacteristic TMZ moment. Our friend Joe McDonald penned a piece about the New York Rangers retiring Denis Potvin's number. But the award for total immersion in a joke goes to Jibblescribbits, who transformed its Colorado Avalanche blog into a Calgary Flames fan blog complete with a lead story called "8 things I [heart] about Dion Phaneuf." Brilliant. Leave any other links to hockey sites with AFD fun in the comments.
• Some Winter Classic chatter, as the Pittsburgh Penguins and Philadelphia Flyers at Penn State appears to at least be in the discussion stages. We tend to agree with George James Malik: The Rangers are a lock for next year's game, and it's just a matter of whether they'll play the Boston Bruins at Fenway or at Yankee Stadium. No matter how much the Devils and Islanders kvetch, they're not getting in on the action. [Freep]
• Penguins players express their desire to keep Coach Dan Bylsma for next season. How does he not come back with that instant success? [Post-Gazette]
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• Meanwhile, Sidney Crosby is now "Juice Boy" after a rigged shootout loss to his coach in practice. Finally, a Pittsburgh sports story about juice that doesn't involve the 1970s Steelers. [Tribune-Review, video from Paneech]
• The best video you'll see all day: a Boston fan climbing the down escalator after as a Bruins game lets out. Wow. [Universal Hub, via Deadspin]
• Mike Danton, the Sideshow Bob of hockey, is back in Canada and is eligible for parole. [CP]
• After their torrid start, has the marriage between Jarome Iginla and Olli Jokinen already on the rocks? [Slam! Sports]
• Hockey legend (and avid Puck Daddy fan) Stan Fischler states his case against the charity point: "Can you imagine if they gave out half an Oscar to the movie that came in second place in the Academy Awards?" No, but we can imagine if they gave out half an Oscar to Verne Troyer. Now if we could just find the right role ...[New England Hockey Journal]
• When all is said and done this season for the Tampa Bay Lightning, Steven Stamkos will likely have broken Brad Richards's rookie record for goals. Even if his public floggings from his coach continue unabated. [Lightning Strikes]
• Your Southeast Bill Masterton Trophy nominees: Slava Kozlov of the Atlanta Thrashers, Rod Brind'Amour of the Carolina Hurricanes, Richard Zednik of the Florida Panthers, Cory Murphy of the Tampa Bay Lightning and Brian Pothier of the Washington Capitals. God, Pothier's road back has been arduous, but how do you not give it to Zednik? [NHL]
• The Seibu Prince Rabbits, a Japanese ice hockey team with a 37-year history, had disbanded. Liquidation of assets is being handled by an E. Fudd. [NHL]
• "YEAH! I WON A FIGHT BY THROWING PUNCHES! WHO WANTS A HUG?" [AP]
• Very interesting look at the Hall of Fame's decision to change its voting procedures in order to get more women inducted. While women clearly have been ignored by voters, do they also have an easier path to the Hall then men under the changes? [Silver Sevens]
• Larry Brooks is starting to view John Tortorella as Tom Renney with a bigger mouth, and explains why that's a good thing. [NY Post]
• Phoenix Coyotes rookie goalie Al Montoya is poised to become the first Cuban-American to play in the NHL if he gets the start tonight. Unfortunately, the U.S. government embargo will force the game to be blacked out on Center Ice ... [AZ Central]
• The Columbus Blue Jackets recall Amanda Bynes from the AHL. [CP]
• The NHL defends its referees' decisions in giving Sean Avery a roughing minor for being tossed around like a rag doll by David Clarkson. [Globe & Mail]
• Finally, while we must tap the stick for the Boston Bruins's Zdeno Chara earning a Gordie Howe Hat Trick on Mr. Hockey's birthday, you know you want to see Milan Lucic's one-punch KO of Josef Melichar last night: