Here are your Morning Puck Headlines: A glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.
• Why did the Edmonton Oilers lose popular Curtis Glencross to the Calgary Flames? Craig MacTavish blames Marian Hossa. And why did Hossa sign with the Detroit Red Wings? Because he wanted to "turn his back" on the Pittsburgh Penguins and "the star with which he thrived." You read enough of this hyperbole, and you start to believes the Penguins both gained and lost a Satan this off-season. [Snapshots]
• The Matthew Barnaby era is set to begin on ESPN, with the former Buffalo Sabres and New York Rangers pugilist debuting on the Oct. 8 SportsCenter. Our expectations are high. Please don't be another Hull. [Watchdog]
• Roberto Luongo is pimp: If the NHL won't allow the new Vancouver Canucks captain to put a 'C' on his jersey, he may paint one on his mask. We say take it to the extreme: An all-captains mask. Kirk, Morgan, Stubing, Sparrow, Messier. OK, scratch that last one. It's Vancouver. [Vancouver Province]
• Speaking of Mess, Tom Arnold spins a tale on The Howard Stern Show about how he, Wayne Gretzky, Mark Messier and the Courtnall brothers invested in a gold mine and an Internet start-up company ... and how both of them completely tanked. [Chen]
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• The NHL unleashes "Is This the Year?" ads featuring Sidney Crosby, Dion Phaneuf, Patrick Kane and Henrik Lundqvist. None of whom are dressed like a metrosexual samurai, proving that the NHL marketing department has in fact learned something since the lockout. [Going Five Hole]