Now Pitching for the Mets…Brad Lidge?

If the rumors on the internet are to believed - and, as a rule, I believe everything on the internet - then the New York Mets are making a run at former Phillies closer Brad Lidge, according to Mike Puma of the New York Post.

This news is not surprising, given the fact that Lidge would not be returning to the Phillies, and that, invariably, he would pitch for someone else. When you consider that there aren't too many teams that are in the market for a relief pitcher with shaky command, a mediocre fastball, and an injury history that would frighten old Hoss Radbourn, it significantly limits the number of suitors for the 34-year-old pitcher.

So, the purveyour of the perfect season and the owner of the unhittable slider might be going north to pitch for the one-time rival New York Mets because, well, why not? They don't figure to contend in 2012, and their bullpen needs some help -- a veteran like Lidge could serve as a mentor for some of their younger pitchers. If they're lucky, he could be an appealing option for a team in need of a relief pitcher when the trade deadline approaches.

Regardless of the circumstances surrounding Lidge's pilgrimage up north (if it even happens at all), one thing is for certain -- Brad Lidge is going to own the Philadelphia Phillies. I'm talking own, like Roy Halladay owning the Florida Marlins own, Placido Polanco owning a giant hat own, Ray Lewis owning the poor schlub who decided to go across the middle on a cross pattern own.

It's not going to be pretty, when Brad Lidge eventually has to face his former club, but why would it? Teams who face former players - especially when those former players have a rich history of, you know, not being good (I love Brad Lidge for 2008, but the ensuing years were difficult, to put it mildly). It doesn't matter if he pitchers for the Mets, the Kansas City Royals or the Hiroshima Carp, Lidge will find a way to come back to Philadelphia and make fools out of us all, despite the fact that he will nary throw a strike or hurl a fastball that exceeds 92 miles per hour.

That would be a fitting end to Lidge's journey. He'd be known as the man who almost single-handedly delivered a championship to come back as a bitter, battered, and broken man with elbows tendons that are barely hanging on. Then he'll proceed to make pitching look like child's play. He'll be following in the footsteps of other former Phillies who have returned to strike fear in the heart of the local nine. Guys like Wes Helms and Rod Barajas, two fellas who weren't worth the cost of the paper of the contract when they wore the red pinstripes, somehow turned into a wrecking machine when they were on the other side.

So, should Lidge sign with the Mets, that means he will have some 19 chances to make fools out of the lot of us -- something I don't look forward to.

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