Last night's Cubs-Sox rainout dovetailed nicely with the late-afternoon news that Sammy Sosa had indeed tested positive for steroids in 2003. No one should be surprised by this. If anything, it's a shock the test didn't surface sooner. But with no baseball to play and no late Cubs meltdown to discuss, Lou Piniella was forced to hold court on other topics. Notably, steroids.
As you can probably imagine, this went well:
We're just glad it's on video, so we don't have to type that quote and try to make you believe it's actually what Lou said. There it is. Enjoy.
That wasn't Lou's only spectacular quote of the day. Deflecting criticism about not being competitive enough, or something, Piniella said: "What do I need to show fire for? I'm not a dragon." This is true! It's also a clever little way to deal with what can only be considered insane criticism. Note to Chicago's baseball writers: No matter what Lou does -- whether he takes a nap all day, or whether he screams and yells after every pitch the way you could before you started sitting in the press box -- it's not going to matter. Managers have very sporadic impact on their teams in the first place, and when your team is this mediocre, no amount of yelling or "fire" or whatever else it is the assorted press corp apparently wants of Lou is going to make a difference.
So we can stop with that? Good. Thanks. There are more important questions to ask, like whether Lou has ever compared "a steroid" and "a reefer." These are the burning questions of our age.
Eamonn Brennan is a Chicago-based writer, editor and blogger. You can also read him at Yahoo! Sports, Mouthpiece Sports Blog, and Inside The Hall, or at his personal site, eamonnbrennan.com. Follow him on Twitter.