Lenny Dykstra fans of yore, take heart.
Sure the frenetic, trap-flapping ex Met and beloved former Phillie is now an investing genius and car-wash kingpin. But when he made an appearance in Manhattan court yesterday to cut a deal with a firm that claims he stiffed them out of more than $100,000, Dykstra opened his mouth and began yapping like the old days. While no tobacco flew out, Nails proved that he's still as classy as ever.
The brash World Series winner left court with the same kind of belligerent swagger that made us all fall in love with him in the first place. He then assaulted the court reporters with an unrelenting series of "bro"-laced non-sequiturs and jammed handfuls of Twizzlers into his maw.
It was Classic Dykstra: rife with the kind of bravado that made him reviled and revered among fans -- and, well, every human he encounters. It also proves that just because licorice is now considered Dykstra's "principal vice" doesn't mean that an encounter with the former player isn't going to feel any less like a drug-addled haze.
So, in case you missed it, here are a few classic gems from yesterday's encounters:
- "That's my f---in' ashtray money, bro," he told the New York Post, when asked about claims he owed a private jet company $7,000. "I don't even know if I flew on their plane."
- "See that purple label, bro? That's seven large," he said gesturing to the lining of his gray pinstripe suit.
- "It's not about giving money. It's about giving back. See that?," Dykstra said pointing to an elderly woman crossing the street. "I'm going to be walking like that. I crashed into too many walls."
And to think, the Mets traded him for Juan Samuel.