First, let me apologize in advance. There have been enough talking heads about this that reading one more may cause a nosebleed, I know. But I’m not here to try to talk over outraged radio hosts or write bolder than scribes who are churning out an article a minute. I’m here to try and explain, like many have, why PSU students and alumni are suddenly showing so much pride about their university during a time when it may be at its lowest point… well, maybe ever.
The truth is, you can’t understand, and you probably won’t. There are no analogies or clichés to put these feelings into words. I can only hope this comes across as a coherent thought so bear with me, please.
Let’s start with the most important thing, and one that we can’t lose sight of – the victims. Anyone and everyone in their right mind knows what allegedly took place by Jerry Sandusky and the truly inept follow-through by the administration in this ordeal was (and still is) awful. Use whatever adjective you like: appalling, horrific, distressing – there is no shortage. Media types everywhere are trying to one-up each other on how truly outraged they are. And they’re right – it’s all of those words and more – each one of those victims and their families deserve nothing but our utmost support, our prayers and justice, however it may come.
We feel the same way as you all do – we feel sick when we think of the actions. We cringe when we read the Grand Jury Report.
But can we finally settle one thing? If I have a Penn State t-shirt on today, or wear a PSU jacket tomorrow – in no way, shape or form does that mean I am condoning anything that happened among the five or six or however many number of people who were involved in these actions.
Over the past several days I‘ve heard coworkers, even friends, talk about how the groundswell of PSU pride on Facebook, Twitter and the like are an insult to the victims or are supporting Joe Paterno and his actions (or lack thereof) in all of this. They’ve mocked it and questioned how anyone can say “WE ARE” and feel any sense of pride.
To that, I can only say this – what else do we have right now?
Our university’s name is in the mud. The icon – hell, the man who is synonymous with the institution – has been toppled. The thing we used to point to, our identity, is suddenly missing.
Let’s not get this wrong, either – we are not victims, not by a long shot, especially when compared to the real tragedy here. But we are trying to find our way. Suddenly, being associated with PSU almost has a ‘scarlet letter’ feel to it; whether it’s the small amount of students “rioting” who everyone perceives as representing the whole university or those who have only bothered to read the first paragraph of the latest story.
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Let’s also not forget another point – this is not about football. We are not trying to “protect a football coach”. When people criticize us for calling it a sad day when Joe Paterno was fired, we don’t mean because we’re going to miss his fantastic football strategies. We’re going to miss the man who did so much good for the university and, ultimately, for us - because Penn State doesn’t become Penn State without him. It’s also a sad day because his firing serves as just another reminder of how awful this situation is and how much of a widespread impact Sandusky’s alleged actions have (and, for the record, even having to type “alleged” is annoying regarding Sandusky).
Paterno’s legacy is, and will forever be, rightly tarnished. But we, as a Penn State family, can’t simply toss aside all of the amazing things he did. He donated millions, was a fierce advocate for putting academics on the same level as, if not higher than, athletics (in times when few other programs ever did) and was a man many saw as a role model – and sought to be a better person because of him. And this is where we have our emotional conflict in a situation where emotions already run rampant.
His departure was inevitable, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be sad that the man’s most disappointing inaction will now take him and all of his amazing efforts. No, we won’t rename the library he almost single-handedly funded. No, we won’t act like he didn’t stand for something amazing all those years to us, because it did lead us to be better people, regardless of how the story ended.
And no, we won’t stand by like he should be free of a guilty conscience. But this is where the media and everyone has lost sight of the big picture – and why our anger and disappointment may even be more than the general public. This is bigger than Paterno. While the crosshairs seem to have been affixed to him, others have gone ignored. Gary Schultz was allowed to step down back into retirement. Athletic director Tim Curley has been allowed a paid leave and is still on the payroll (while the university pays his legal fees!). Wide receivers coach Mike McQueary – the grad assistant who witnessed the most notorious of the incidents in the Grand Jury report – was going to be on the sidelines until a few threats put him in protective custody but, again, he is on paid leave. For all of the talk of Paterno’s failings, each of these men share the same fault (if not worse in some instances), yet none have the same “fired” title next to each of their names or their names in the same big bold print in every story.
Our anger goes to the point of wondering how these men (and, for all we know until the facts come out, maybe others) have been able to slink off to the side while Paterno’s name is the only one truly being stamped on. They have all sullied the PSU name in their own way and yet, often, when listening to a broadcast, you won’t hear any of these names until 20, 30 minutes in. And don’t hold your breath waiting for Sandusky’s name, either. While everyone in the media waits outside of Joe Paterno’s house, Jerry Sandusky’s goes largely ignored to the point someone was able to walk up and throw a brick through the front window and no one was there to see.
You see, we want things cleaned up, too. But while many outside of the university seem to feel as though Paterno’s ouster was the biggest way to clean house, we have our figurative bulls eye set a little higher on the food chain and not just on the easiest/most visible person available.
These men have all helped tarnish what we once held dear – the Penn State name. But if there’s one thing we’re trying to make people understand, it’s that the name – the institution – are far greater than any group of men, or even one man; yes, even JoePa. The institution is the alumni and the networks that it has created. And that’s why you’ll find us being full of pride online, at work and at home.
It’s not a snub at the victims. It’s not our way of being indifferent. We feel the same outrage as anyone. But we won’t act like our degrees are suddenly worthless pieces of paper. And we’re not all represented by 2,000 students aimlessly destroying a TV van on campus (to be fair, students at Paternoville (@Paternoville) handled things with much less fanfare that night but an infinitely higher level of class).
We’ve lost our identity, ever so briefly, and we’re creating a new one at the same time. That’s why you’ll see us still wearing our t-shirts, our jackets and still saying “WE ARE”.
After a couple of days, Jerry Sandusky’s image was painted over in a mural on campus and replaced with a blue ribbon (for child abuse awareness). Some people commented that we were trying to pretend like it never happened, like it would go away. That couldn’t be farther from the truth.
In truth, we’re trying to be better than that. We’re trying to take everything Penn State has ever molded in us, and show we can overcome and still be something that can make someone want to be a better person. People like Joe Paterno helped instill some of that in us, and we won’t simply turn our backs on it, but we can try to do more, be better for it and show anyone who will listen that what’s left after all of this is still a great thing.
Even now, grassroots efforts like www.proudtobeapennstater.com (which has raised over $350,000 for RAINN) and the “Blue Out” which occurred at the Nebraska game on Saturday have all begun (http://articles.philly.com/2011-11-09/news/30378275_1_child-abuse-nebraska-shirt). A candlelight vigil was held where an estimated 10,000 students showed up on Friday night. To be fair, the media gave this event the exposure it deserved. But still, some forever will group us with the unfortunate minority – those riot images stuck in the forefront of their minds.
If you’re still reading, I can only thank you. It’s harder to read something like this than read another easy article on Deadspin calling Penn state students fools or another ESPN article talking about who failed.
Just know we’re not naive. We’re not immune. We hurt for the victims. We are angry at those who have failed them and, by default, us. But we are better than those who failed so horribly and we won’t let them dictate where the Penn State name goes from here. We Are…
Chris DeLaurentis is a 27-year-old Penn State alum living in Philadelphia, PA and working in
Business Management in Conshohocken.
(Editor's Note: The opinions above are solely that of the author and do not represent NBC10 or NBCUniversal in any manner. If you'd like to reach out to the author, you can reach him on Twitter at @PSUPhilly22)
