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How Self-Described ‘Loner' Deepak Chopra Gets the Best Out of His Friendships: ‘I Engage With People for 3 Reasons'

Deepak Chopra, co-founder of the Chopra Center for Wellbeing and the founder of the Chopra Foundation.
Adam Jeffery | CNBC

Wellness guru Deepak Chopra has long touted the benefits of social connection

"Social and emotional engagement makes you a happier person, restores homeostasis, self-regulation in your body, and actually expands your network of relationships, so you can create a more meaningful, purposeful and successful life," Chopra, who currently serves as the chief wellness officer for the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, told CNBC Make It in 2019

He is also a self-described "loner." 

To him, having a full social life and enjoying alone time are not at odds, he recently told CNBC Make It. 

"I don't equate solitude with loneliness," he says. "The best combination is solitude, and fully present in any engagement." 

'If those three criteria fit, I'm in ... '

If you regularly dread getting drinks with a friend, or feel exhausted after hanging out with them, you might need to rethink how and why you're forming friendships

If Chopra is going to spend time with someone, they have to meet a specific criteria.

"I, personally, am a loner but I do engage socially, professionally and I engage with people for three reasons," he says.

Chopra asks himself the following three questions before deciding to spend time with a person:

  1. Are they fun to be with?
  2. Are we making a difference in some way? 
  3. Is joy the ultimate measure of success and wellbeing? 

"If those three criteria fit, I'm in, if they don't, I'm out," he says.

If your social connections are draining, you can come up with your own questions or rubric to lead you to get more out of your friendships. 

And once you decide to hang out with someone, give them your full attention. 

"My advice to young people in any relationship, whether it's personal, romantic, with your parents or professional is be present," Chopra says. "That's it."

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