Sometimes finding the right mate is like house hunting. You start off looking at what's in your price range. Is it in close proximity to work and family? Can you see yourself there for the rest of your life? Once you feel your criteria’s kind of in the neighborhood of what you want, then you make a settlement. It's only after you move in that you think with a couple of changes here and there -- some drastic, some minor -- you can make it your own. Maybe it's the game room that needs to be transformed into a study or office making it a place to be more organized. Who knows an addition onto the front may even give it more curb appeal. Perhaps it's the overall look that needs to get with the times. Changing that lumber jack wood paneling, to more of a down home feel like a good Wayne’s coat. Whatever kind of renovations you feel need to be done, the question is, can something that started with a strong foundation have room for change?
When you moved in, did you ask yourself if you were totally in love or were you just settling? While all along, you had a total home improvement in mind, a Do It Yourself (D.I.Y) approach to your love life. The reality is, there are things you just can't change.
For example, before you remodel that spare room into a children’s play room, you have to come to terms with whether or not kids are even in the future. Bottom line, if they're not, then they never will be.
Now some changes can be introduced but not forced. If you want to add something with a little style and culture, the only thing you can do is throw it at the wall and see if it sticks. You have to consider keeping the overall integrity. You just can't start off with a classic Victorian-style relationship and completely change it into a contemporary one.
Trying to transform someone into something he/she isn’t will have you eventually buying endless amounts of bubble wrap, packing and being kicked to the curb, all because you had something great until you tried to Feng Shui everything up!
Hold up there for a second Nate Berkus because if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it! Before anyone starts pulling out the measuring tape and knocking down walls, remember if the foundation and baseboards of your relationship were weak to begin with, your new masterpiece doesn’t stand a chance.
By the age of 21, we’re pretty much set in our ways. So you cannot mold anyone into the “perfect mate” facade you’ve made up in your head. If the love of your life doesn’t like to cook, remodeling the kitchen will not turn them into Betty Crocker.
Don’t get along with his/her parents? Putting a ring on her finger is not one step closer to getting that in-law’s suite addition you saw in last month’s Better Homes & Gardens.
Trying to coax your mate into sitting beside you in that church pew every Sunday when they have no desire for religion? Those “come to Jesus” talks will fall on deaf ears and you'll be going to the House of God solo.
Home is where the heart is. You have to accept your love for who they are. So if you’ve been bitten by the re-modeling bug, maybe it’s time to get a new “Maintenance Man -- or Woman.”
Do you have a dating dilemma? Send Stephanie and Matt your story and questions and you may be featured on the next installment of Save the Date.