Valentine's Day.
Saying it out loud is enough to send chills up and down the spines of men everywhere. For ladies, it’s a day to sulk and cry or a day to be happy (for an hour) before your loved one does something to ruin your day -- and then you cry. Either way it usually ends with a flash flood of emotion.
And for men, Valentine's Day means a ton of pressure. Pressure to say and do exactly the "right" thing -- accompanied with the perfect gift, of course. One wrong move and you're toast.
So why celebrate? Why do we put ourselves at the mercy of this sneaky little holiday? Only to find false hope and disappointment? Yes, V-Day's powers are deceptive.
These are the top 10 reasons why men should no longer humor St. Valentine’s mischief:
1. St. Valentine was a convicted criminal in Rome. It’s true. We saw it on the History Channel and TV doesn’t lie.
2. As if people weren’t burnt out by Christmas shopping, now they have to go out and buy more useless junk for their significant other in the middle of an economic crisis. Which leads us to reason number 3...
3. You're broke.
4. We think lovemaking should be celebrated every day and not just once in the middle of February. February belongs to the Super Bowl. Period.
4. We don't think we've ever seen Cupid’s diaper changed. Therefore, he’s full of you-know-what.
6. Singles' Awareness Day, coincidentally celebrated on February 15, is a great excuse to go to a bar.
7. If you watch The Notebook alone on Valentine’s Day, you can finally cry your eyes out freely -- without anyone laughing.
8. Why share a bottle of wine with your lover, when you can drink it all by yourself?
9. There is no way all of that candy can be good when your trying to get abs like “The Situation.”
10. If a woman says not get her anything -- and subsequently gets nothing -- no man should have to deal with the repercussions.
The game of love is kind of like a game of poker. It’s a lot of luck. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but you rarely break even. Love can’t be measured in flowers, candy, jewelry or fancy dinners. It’s measured in the little things that you and your loved one do or say -- give them a hug when they least expect it or steal a kiss here and there. Instead of going out, why not rent a movie and enjoy each other’s company in the comfort of your own home?
The Beatles said it best, "Money can’t buy me love."
So while you’re out to dinner with your loved one, completely ignoring our advice, we'll be at the bar, going it alone.
Just kidding...kind of.
All jokes aside, have a wonderful Valentine’s Day. And even if you don’t have a Valentine, keep your chin up. Better yet, find one and do something nice. Trust us, they’ll appreciate it.
Happy Valentine's Day!
