Thanksgiving Watch List: FOOTBORGY!!!!

Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and eat your weight in creamed onions. Oh, Thanksgiving - you are an annual delight like no other. LET’S GO!

NFL FOOTBALL – ALL DAY (CBS, FOX, NFL Network) Remember, the NFL now plays THREE games every Thanksgiving, so don’t go thinking you can go into your turkey coma at 8 p.m. You’ve still got one more crummy game to endure! Your first game today is Patriots/Lions on CBS. Up next is Saints/Cowboys on FOX, which is a mildly better matchup now that Wade Phillips has been canned like pumpkin, and your primetime NFL Net game is Bengals/Jets, a game so lousy it deserves to have Matt Millen and Joe Theismann presiding over it. Remember: Football is there to save you from talking to your family. Be sure to make full use of it. ANTICIPATION: FOOTBALL!

BEYONCE’S I AM… WORLD TOUR – 9:30PM (ABC) Join Beyonce as she tours the world and shows you just how much better her life is than yours. Including concert highlights from Croatia, Africa, China and Australia, and featuring guest appearances from Jay-Z and Kanye West. Your mom will love the sassy tunes. Your dad will love the bootyliciousness. ANTICIPATION: PUT A CLICKER ON IT!

TAYLOR SWIFT: SPEAK NOW – 8:00PM (NBC) Just in case you’re one of three people not sick to death of this girl by now, tune into this hour-long special that shows her signing autographs and eluding the paparazzi. She’s so level-headed! How is she able to handle all the drama and still churn out impossibly simple and boring songs for 7-year-old girls? ANTICIPATION: OVERRATED!

NBC’S PEOPLE OF THE YEAR – 9:00PM (NBC) Matt Lauer bogarts Barbara Walters’ “Most Fascinating People of the Year” concept and spends an evening interviewing the likes of LeBron James, Kim Kardashian, Justin Timberlake and other newsmakers. AND he does it before Barbara’s special airs. You watch your back, Lauer. Barbara doesn’t take anyone stealing her thunder. You, my friend, messed with the wrong lady. ANTICIPATION: LEBRON SUCKS!

PUNKIN CHUNKIN 2010 – 8:00PM (Discovery) Engineers gather for their annual competition of pumpkin-throwing machines. Say, that’s not a pumpkin in that one catapult. My God! That’s Matt Lauer! Walters strikes again! ANTICIPATION: BOMBS AWAY!

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