Rihanna In Movie Version Of Battleship Game. Wait, WHAT?!

Here at PopcornBiz, we love developing projects that sound absolutely ludicrous on paper. Like doing an updated version of ”It’s A Wonderful Life” starring Bo Duke and scored by AC/DC, or having Keanu Reeves recreate the story of Adam and Eve in space. Those count as insane ideas that somehow got financial backing, and now we have another. Pop star Rihanna – EY EY EY EY EY – is going to star in a feature film adaptation of the classic “Battleship” board game. Yes, that’s right. BATTLESHIP. No word on if she’ll be the red peg or white peg. From Variety via EW:

Rihanna will make her feature film acting debut in the live action adaptation of the popular Hasbro ’80s game…

The movie will be directed by Peter Berg, who commandeered the film and TV adaptations of “Friday Night Lights,” both of which were fantastic. Taylor Kitsch of the FNL TV show and Alexander Skarsgard of “True Blood” have also signed on to star in the flick, and they bring a considerable amount of talent to the project.

That said, I think we’re all rightfully skeptical about the idea of making a movie out of freakin’ “Battleship.” Surely, this is going to be a two-hour buildup to someone saying YOU SUNK MY BATTLESHIP! I bet it’s clearly stated in the Hasbro marketing document that gave birth to this movie: “We MUST have the line!” It’s going to be in there. You and I both know it.

I imagine Rihanna will be given a minimalist role in all this. Her job will be to look good and rock a cool haircut. She’ll probably be the love interest of either Kitsch or Skarsgard, either of whom will treat her far better than Chris Brown ever did. Maybe this will all work out. We know from “Pirates” that odd film properties can spawn superior entertainment. But Peter Berg is going to have to do an awfully good job of subverting expectations. Or else, this whole could… SINK. Huh? Huh?

Oh, forget it.

Contact Us