Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and cram for that calculus final. Is it mathematically possible to absorb 12 weeks of knowledge into an 8-hour timeframe? If you use enough Adderall? Let me just do a quick calculation to find out. LET’S GO!
GLEE – 8:00PM (ABC) It’s medley night for you Gleeks out there, as the chorus takes on terrifying mashups of some of your favorites hits, including a combo platter of “Start Me Up” and “Livin’ On A Prayer,” together! I find the idea of butchering both these songs to be potentially traumatic, but to COMBINE them? Ryan Murphy, you are most diabolical. Also look out for Marley’s “One Love” (retrofitted for Caucasian listeners), Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream,” and a medley of “Stop! In the Name of Love” and En Vogue’s “Free Your Mind.” And thank you again to this show for putting that last song in my head for the week. I thought I was rid of En Vogue a decade ago. ANTICIPATION: EARBLEED!
THE FASHION SHOW: ULTIMATE COLLECTION – 10:00PM (Bravo – an NBC/Universal network) Bravo has completely revamped their “Project Runway” replacement by splitting the 12 contestants into separate houses and forcing them to work in permanent teams to design entire collections and runway shows. I’m for anything that doesn’t end in Gretchen Jones winning $100,000. How could you, Michael Kors? You disgust me. ANTICIPATION: OWN IT!
DIRTY JOBS – 9:00PM (Discovery) Mike helps locate an exotic deer out in Wills Point, Texas. Exotic deer? You mean the deer is Polynesian?! ANTICIPATION: EXOTIC FAUNA!
MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER – 9:00PM (Bravo – an NBC/Universal network) Patti tries to find soul mates for a female poker pro (She’s doubling down, on love!) and a 40-year-old man who is romantically challenged. And really, what 40-year-old man ISN’T romantically challenged? Forty-year-old men have to deal with mortgages and term life insurance policies and all sorts of other middle age crises. Who has time for flowers, Missy? ANTICIPATION: PAIR OF JOKERS!
AUCTION HUNTERS – 10:00PM (Spike) Auction houses are the hot new reality property. Join the auctioneers tonight as they scavenge an old German pistol and a copper cash register. It’s its own penny! ANTICIPATION: SOLD!