Buzz Bissinger Goes Off on “Overrated” Phillies

Hi everyone! Did you have a good morning? Well, Pulitzer Prize winner and noted uber-opinionated person Buzz Bissinger didn’t. Bissinger, a Philly-area local who wrote Friday Night Lights, took to the Twitter Monday morning and went off on one of his trademark ranting binges. And this time, he took dead aim at your Phillies, saying all manner of degrading things about them.

Now, if you’re new to Bissinger’s Twitter feed, please note that he uses very strong language, particularly whenever his lithium prescription runs out. Here are some of his choicest insults for the 2012 Phils:

You know what else sucks? Overhype on Phillies. No offense. One pitching injury away from finishing third, and there will be one.

I have to take umbrage with Bissinger here, because pretty much EVERY team in baseball is a bad pitching injury away from despair. There are only so many good pitchers in baseball, and the Phillies happen to have a few of them, which is more than you can say about many other teams.

As for the offense, err… OK, he may have something there. More ranting PLEEZ! 

Phils: Old, no power, Howard, Utley shadow of themselves. Plus Rollins and Polanco as saviors? Phils will be lucky to score 162 runs.

Plus Phils front office now like Eagles: lie, lie, lie. Utley on track? For what? next vacancy at nursing home?

I like that Buzz is just figuring out now that professional sports teams front offices lie to people. I bet he’d be a blast covering the NFL Draft.

AND IF PHILLY IS SUCH A TOUGH SPORTS TOWN, WHY DOES CHARLEY E. GET A (expletive) FREE RIDE? He doesn't manage.

SHOTS FIRED! I like that he managed to degrade both Charlie Manuel and you, the Phillies fan, all in under 140 characters. But Buzz isn’t done with you, fanboys. 

Sports fans in Philly are saps

Somewhere there’s a Philly fan booing a child on the street just to reassert his reputation.

But what about some of the team’s recent offseason acquisitions, Buzz? Surely, they can help this team out a bit, no? 

Paplemypimp is a self-promoting moron. His best stuff is his Irish jig.

You’ll notice that Buzz will often substitute real player names with derisive nicknames that may or may not make sense or even be spelled correctly. It’s part of the charm.

Oh that's right. Phillies pickup of Thome will provide power. Power where? Spitting sunflower seeds? Guy is nice but washed up.

And there’s the end of his run. Bissinger, despite railing against bloggers on HBO just a few years ago, has become one of the more vocal trolls on Twitter. He enjoys spewing out stuff like this in order to rile people up, regardless of whether or not he truly means anything he’s saying. But Bissinger is a huge baseball guy, and nestled somewhere in all that invective are concerns that I think any reasonable Phillies fan shares with him. I’m just glad Bissinger decided to couch it all in the least tactful way possible. That’s how a true Phillies fan goes about his business.

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