The Opponent: The Detroit Lions, a.k.a. the Edsels, a.k.a. 0-16, a.k.a. the reason the White Stripes and Eminem make such angry music
The Line: Eagles by 3.5. Oof. The dreaded road favorite tag. There were eight road favorites last week, three covered. The rest of them lost outright. You don’t wanna be a road favorite, people.
Last Game: A brutal 19-14 loss to Chicago in which the Lions had certain victory taken away from them when Calvin Johnson’s game-winning touchdown catch was ruled incomplete due to that whole “maintain possession as you go to the ground” rule, which is vague and annoying. So the Eagles get a rather angry Lions team this week, and that’s not good.
The Coach: Jim Schwartz, who looks like a tan Thom Yorke. I keep expecting his eye to droop while he busts out in “Paranoid Android” while standing on the sidelines.
The Offense: Matt Stafford separated his throwing shoulder against the Bears and is uncertain for this game. Chances are, he won’t be under center come Sunday, which means the Eagles would get a dose of Shaun Hill, who seems underwhelming until you remember that he’s the one that threw that nullified game-winner to Megatron. Also, rookie back Jahvid Best scored twice last week, but was otherwise fairly underwhelming. Certainly not the explosive speed demon that everyone made him out to be.
The Defense: The Lions forced four turnovers from Chicago last week, which is impressive until you remember that it's Jay Cutler we’re talking about, and taking the ball from Jay Cutler is as easy as stealing a toddler’s juicebox. One little yank and the ball is all yours! Cutler passed for over 350 yards, much of it to Matt Forte on routes coming out of the backfield. So LeSean McCoy should see a few looks this week. Who will be throwing him the ball? Well, that’s a whole other scab to pick.
Key Matchup: Mike McGlynn vs. Ndamukong Suh. Jamaal Jackson is done for the year after tearing up his biceps. Now his backup will take on the prized rookie, who notched a sack last week. I’m not saying Michael Vick’s elusiveness might prove useful given these circumstances, I’m just saying he should start. That’s all.