As you know, former Eagles tailback and offensive stalwart Brian Westbrook signed with San Francisco two days ago. Westbrook will likely spell Frank Gore’s backup for most of the year, but that didn’t stop Arizona Cardinals d-lineman Darnell Dockett from calling out his old friend via Twitter (“Been everywhere but the electric chair!”) and saying he was going to, like, hit him really hard and stuff.
Upon hearing Westbrook signed with the 49ers, Dockett tweeted:
Ahhhhh hell naw Brian westbrook one of my best friends !! This is BS! Oh well I hope he know its not personal! but f--k it! #MNF #HITSTICK
I appreciate the #HITSTICK hashtag. It’s not used on Twitter nearly enough for my taste. I also like that Dockett uses exclamation points! After every sentence! That lets you know he’s way excited! Like you see below!
I like our uniforms esp the blk ones! Just a random thought! I'm putting ice on my elbow and watching the last dragon! Shutting it down!
I'm bout whatever , f--k what they talking bout! They opinon doesn't count we the only thing that matter! Weight room time Let's Go!
You ice that elbow, Darnell! ICE IT HARD! AND WATCH "THE LAST STARFIGHTER" TO MAKE IT A GENUINE 80S DOUBLE FEATURE! Dockett also promises to playfully injure any number of other running backs, including the now retired Glen Coffee, and Chris Johnson:
Yoooo whats up, I hope my coach let us play more on monday night cuz I wanna close line and elbow my boy @ChrisJohnson28 in the 4head lol
Honestly, I don’t know how we lived before athletes being on Twitter. To think, we went DECADES without hearing athletes openly and playfully taunting each other about causing grievous bodily harm. Why, without Twitter, we’d never know that Todd Herremans doesn’t like too much gay sex on "True Blood!" And we’d never get to see DeSean Jackson still trying to learn how a keyboard works.
It’s a gift from the heavens, I tell you.
I think the NFL should mandate that every player join Twitter and tweet at least ten times weekly. They make them join press conferences. Why not make them go online, too? Sure, you’re likely to get anodyne dreck out of them, but sometimes you’ll get something like Dockett doing that fine trash talking you know all athletes do behind closed doors.
If only we had Twitter back when FredEx was still here. I would’ve wanted to punch him even HARDER.
Thank goodness it’s here to stay.