Sometimes we go into relationships with our eyes wide shut only to hear those inevitable two words -- trust me. You’ve heard them before, but you’re afraid of falling into the bottomless pit of yet another broken heart. It’s at times like these you wish you had eyes in the back of your head, so you could soften the blow if heartache and pain come knockin’ once the trust you built with your mate has been broken. But how do you even get to the point where you can open up on this sacred level? What does it take for you to lean back with confidence and be certain that special someone is waiting with open arms to catch you?
Matt:
Trust has to be there from day one. If not, even coming clean can't remove the stain of deceit. It might fade, but will always remain as a constant reminder.
At one point in our lives, we all get in a position where we are never truly honest. Whether you bend it, blow it up, hide it or even stretch it, it's still a deviation from the truth. The question here is, what were the intentions behind the lie and at what degree was the deception?
Were they trying to cover their cheating because they were unfaithful? Was it something trivial and they were simply trying to soften the blow because feelings and insecurities were involved? Maybe he’s downplaying a good old guys night out saying, “the night was ok, we just drank a lot.”
On the other hand, it could be simply in their nature. They just may be down right scandalous.
But overall, once you get the wool pulled over your eyes, it’s hard to ever see things in your relationship the same. You'll probably forgive, but never forget. In the back of your mind, you'll be constantly pulling out that B.S. meter anytime something doesn't smell right. That's when love can truly stink! They don't make a Febreze for relationships, so move on and get some fresh air.
Steph:
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me! Instinctively, we all go into relationships with blinders, hoping the people we’re interested in will be honest. But that doesn’t take away from the fact it has to be earned.
With knowledge comes understanding. I don’t recommend taking the plunge by sharing your deepest darkest secrets right off the bat just because you’re hoping this new interest is your soul mate. Give your relationship time to grow. If you don’t, I guarantee you’ll fall flat on your face. One thing's for sure, as you get to know your mate on a much deeper level, the more intimate details of your life you'll begin to share
Like it or not, romance is about recovery, as well as helping each other learn to trust and be trustworthy. We can all be a little guarded at times, but you have to be willing to be forthcoming if you seriously want them to be there to catch you when you fall.
Keep in mind nobody's perfect. Don't be afraid to step out on faith because when the right person comes along, those walls you've built up will come tumbling down.
Do you have a dating dilemma? Send Stephanie and Matt your story and questions and you may be featured on the next installment of Save the Date.
