Save The Date: Fighting Fair

Round 1: DING DING DING! You're both in your corners ready to spar. While this match could determine the fate of the relationship, you're not willing to back down for anything. All the staying out late with his/her "friends" to late night calls from their ex has you ready to deliver that first verbal jab much easier.

Even though you want to knock some sense into your mate, you still want to make sure there's some love mixed in because deep down inside you really do care. So what are the ground rules for fighting fair?

Matt:

Eventually as couples, we all get into little spats, debates, or minor disagreements, but nothing that would give us a reason to duke it out.

However, in the heat of passion and when tempers run high, there really are no rules for verbal low blows. It’s part of your arsenal. You are intentionally looking to push those buttons, exposing your mate’s weaknesses. It’s all about getting the upper hand.
 
The bigger picture here is, why are you stepping into the ring in the first place? What was the Don King of all topics that promoted this fight? There has to be something deeper, because how can something so trivial be hyped up to be the “Brawl to End it All”.

From the first sound of the bell, you come out swinging with a flurry of insults attacking below the belt -- cheap shots at finances, weight gain, family, aspirations and then the sucker punch to the bedroom.

At this point when things have gotten so out of hand and it's beyond trash talk, like Mike Tyson has chewed your ear off, you have to make a split decision about throwing the towel in on the relationship. You’re almost guaranteed that it will suffer a technical knockout.

In the final round there won't be a draw. One will lose—most likely you. So take your punch drunk heart, your pride and cut your losses. Opt out for a rematch because it's not worth having the undisputed title of “Miserable Chump”.
 

Steph:

You may think you’re slick with all the bobbing & weaving, but if your partner is ready to go toe-to-toe be ready for the fight of the century.  At the same time, if the relationship is worth the linguistic brawl make sure you’re up to par on the weight class for this match.

No matter if your mate is a lightweight or heavy weight, fighting dirty is never appropriate. Bringing up the past is simply not fair, nor going tit for tat with the whole blame game.

Blind-siding them with a sharp left hook about previous partners is out. Unless it’s an issue that directly affects you, leave that talk outside the ring when neither one of you is fuming.

Name-calling, degrading and using those insecurities shared in confidence against him/her, should never be brought up in any rounds either. All of these are childish low blows and simply grounds for disqualification.

Sometimes relationships thrive off arguing since it makes making up that much more fun, but realistically speaking it gets old very quick.

When it comes to marriage or being in it for the long haul, know that it’s going to take some blood, sweat and tears. Just make sure you lay down the ground rules so both of you end up coming out like champs!

Do you have a dating dilemma? Send Stephanie and Matt your story and questions and you may be featured on the next installment of Save the Date.
 

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