You may have thought you just entered a new relationship, but you’ve started to gain a lot more than just a partner.
Those dinner dates have caught up with your waistline. That love seat that used to be fit for two, now only has enough room for one couch potato. Next thing you know, your tailor made union is facing some alterations. Maybe the extra junk in the trunk doesn’t suit you.
So can putting on the pounds put a strain on your relationship?
Steph
Just because you may be cute in the face & thick in the waist doesn’t mean you can let yourself go. There is definitely a double standard when it comes to dating and tipping the scale. Women tend to let men slide if they gain a few pounds here and there. But let a woman pack on a little cushioning in the wrong places, her man or girlfriends are telling her it’s time to push back from the table and hit that treadmill like there’s no tomorrow.
It’s easy to get comfortable with your partner and fall into the same ‘ole routine. However, if you want to keep your relationship toned and fresh, put a little effort into your appearance. At the same time it’s not always about pleasing the other person, rather being comfortable in the skin you’re in. When you get the famous “Baby, you look good with a few extra pounds. It gives me a little something extra to hang on to.” -- don’t be fooled! The moment you let that line go down nice and smooth with an extra scoop of ice cream is the instant he or she is taking numbers for a new flavor.
If YOU don’t like the way your thighs and hips are fitting in those jeans, do something about it for you! Lighten your load by shedding that low self-esteem, self doubt and rejection while you’re at it. Chances are, if you don’t, you’ll still be miserable with or without a dinner date.
Keep in mind, it doesn’t matter whether you’re a size 2, 4, 6 or 8. Perhaps you’re a 14 or 16 -- great! Bottom line: work with what you got!
Matt
You’re probably saying to yourself “my man should love me for me no matter how much I gain.” You’re right! He does love you, but the truth is by nature, men are visual creatures. This time it's not the extra pound they’re noticing--we all like a little extra meat on those bones. It's simply the loss of confidence catching their eye. If you don't feel attractive or sexy, expect your mate to look at you the same way. Constantly wearing the baggy grey sweat pants is probably not helping the problem either. It's sending up the white flag letting him know you’ve given up.
Now I know, when it comes to the “Battle of the Bulge”, you have to come to terms that it’s going to be a constant fight. Our bodies change as we get older. You’re not always going to have that body you had in your 20's. However, one way to win this war is strength in numbers. Be a supporter not a hater. Remember there was a time when you were their biggest fan. So, team up! Plan workout dates, go for a run or even a brisk walk. When it comes to dieting—lead by example. Eat the same meals. Don't go too crazy, it doesn't have to be that life changing. Still enjoy your guilty pleasure, just in moderation.
The big picture is your health. You can avoid some serious health issues in the future like heart disease, diabetes and high blood pressure.
Most importantly have patience and be understanding. Everyone bounces back at different times. If you have a problem with that, then it's you who has the 'Wait' Problem. So don't be The Biggest Loser.
Do you have a dating dilemma? Send Stephanie and Matt your story and questions and you may be featured on the next installment of Save the Date.
