You’ve finally found someone you actually connect with and overall, the relationship seems very promising. In fact, things are going so well you’re certain nothing can come between the two of you—except for 90-plus miles! It's already starting to take a toll on you, literally. You've begun to feel more wear and tear on your heart than on your car. At this point you have to ask yourself, how far are you willing to go for true love? When it comes to getting from point “A” to “B”, can you “C” the relationship going anywhere or will your partner eventually become geographically undesirable (G.U.D.). Is your happiness strong enough to go the distance?
Matt:
Before we begin, let's first determine what would be considered a long distance relationship. I believe anything more than an hour and half commute is pretty much in the ballpark. In reality, I know Mr. or Mrs. Right is not going to be right around the corner and you may need to venture out of your zip code (ep it stinks), but who said love was meant to be convenient.
So give it a shot but give it a timeline. A year is plenty! Then decide if you or your partner are willing to make a move or perhaps find some common ground to meet in the middle. If not, you must be trippin’ if you think in the long run it will last. Those weekend rendezvous will never let the relationship grow. Any problems that need to be dealt with will never surface because you don't want to ruin what little time you have together. Instead, you'll blow it off until next time or pile it on top of other built-up issues.
Forget being spontaneous during the week! It will be next to impossible to meet up or simply hang out. That yearning for more than just a voice on the other line will only make you feel even more alone. Eventually you'll run out of gas, hang onto fumes and in the end, it will be your relationship packing its bags.
Steph:
Pump those breaks before you say sayonara to your potential soul mate forever! When your relationship has reached that special altitude, becoming a guaranteed airline customer doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Granted, if your money is lookin’ a little funny these days, you might want to slow your role for a minute before you go redeeming those frequent flier miles. Let’s be real, we are in a recession.
There is nothing wrong with long distance relationships as long as BOTH individuals have a clear understanding and commitment to the relationship. I refuse to believe that they are impossible because anything is possible when it comes to matters of the heart. However, I can’t argue with Matt on this one—eventually someone has to make a move. Bottom line, there must be a plan mapped out with a final destination visible in the horizon.
Proceed with caution. These types of relationships are definitely not for the weak at heart. You must be willing to put in more than just the funds and time. If you know going into it that you’re not up for the challenge, nor can handle the emotional strain—you’ve just entered the G.U.D. zone! Your best bet is to put your feelings on the back burner, cut your losses while you can and head straight for the nearest exit.
Do you have a dating dilemma? Send Stephanie and Matt your story and questions and you may be featured on the next installment of Save the Date.
