Fire the Sixers Front Office Into the Sun

After the news that, after weeks of LIES, Joel Embiid and Ben Simmons are both out for the season, I'm ready to declare it: It's time for the Sixers to blow it all up and start over. And let it start with the worst GM in Sixers history, Bryan Colangelo. You can have your Billy King, your Ed Stefanski, and even -- yes -- your Sam Hinkie. I might even take Brad Greenberg or Tony Dileo at this point.
 
Sure, the Bynum incident was bad. The three years of not even trying under Hinkie was worse. But what they did with Embiid was the worst thing yet. If you think the Sixers front office didn't know in January that he was out for the season, you're a sucker.
 
Here's what I want -- all I want -- from the Philadelphia 76ers: A general manager who who doesn't believe in tanking, rebuilding, patience or "processes." An executive who doesn't lie, isn't cautious and doesn't have phrases like "analytics," "sports science," or "minutes restriction" in his vocabulary. I want a GM with an official policy of never, under any circumstances, trading for a second round draft pick.
 
I want a GM who will both keep players from getting injured, and tell us exactly how injured every player is at all times. And most of all, I want a GM who's willing to submit to questioning on WIP weekly, if not daily.
 
Why can't we have a better one? It's simple. Josh Harris is cheap. He cares more about spending money on a practice facility than on players. And in this town -- a town where we care about winning, and we love a winner -- that's not to be tolerated. When Harris bought the Devils, that should have been our first clue.
 
Sure, we can try to be positive. I know I'm very excited to finally see Joel Embiid and Ben Simmons on the court together, at some point in late 2021. Barring unforeseen delays, of course, and minutes restrictions. And perhaps next year's lottery picks will be ready to join them after sitting out their rookie years with gradually worsening injuries.
 
But there's one way out. Magic Johnson recently returned to the Lakers as the top front office decision maker and has talked about bringing in Kobe Bryant to assist him. It's time for the Sixers to do the same: Team president Charles Barkley, and general manager Allen Iverson.
 
It's about time for a Sixers front office with credibility. At least with Barkley and Iverson, we as fans will know where we stand.
 
Other Philly sports takes:
 
- Along similar lines, it's time for the Flyers to fire Dave Hakstol and replace him, preferably with someone who played on the '75 team. Dave Schultz is still alive, right?
 
- Flyers goalie Michael Neuvirth is expecting a baby with the sister of defenseman Radko Gudas. After all these years, I'm excited that one of those "Flyers rumors" finally turned out to be true.
 
- Chris Christie might get a radio show on WFAN? We all know nobody knows sports quite like an ex-governor. I hope they're ready to budget for lots of broken chairs.
 
- The Minnesota Vikings' new stadium reportedly killed as many as 60 birds who flew directly into its glass roof during the last NFL season. That's nothing- do you remember how many worms were killed by Donovan McNabb's incomplete passes?
 
Follow @FakeWIPcaller on Twitter.

Note: please just look at the author of this post. Thank you.

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