For Beth Rubin, a local woman who endured two decades of domestic abuse at the hands of the father of her children, the 35 women who came together to tell their stories about their alleged sexual assaults by Bill Cosby are more than inspiring.
They're empowering, Rubin, 64, said Monday during an interview at her Elkins Park home, the day all 35 women -- together -- graced the cover of New York magazine in a stunning show of strength in numbers. The women's stories have the potential to save lives and give women the push they need to get out of abusive situations, Rubin said.
"It's very powerful. When you're going through this, you're very much alone. You're in fear of that person, and you're in fear of everything, and very depressed and isolated," said Rubin, a retired Philadelphia schoolteacher who is mother to three adult daughters. "So it just gives credence to your story. It empowers you ... you give it up during the abuse, you give up your power. And it feels like you're getting it back when you can tell your story and be honest."
The 35 women who are accusing Cosby came together to tell their stories to New York magazine, which published each of their accounts and put photos of all of the women -- who span ages, races and lifestyles -- on the cover of its July 27-Aug. 9 issue.
Rubin, who works a volunteer for the Women's Center of Montgomery County's hotline and as a court advocate for women in the process of obtaining protection-from-abuse orders, said that since issues of violence against women have been propelled to the forefront of the nation's awareness, she's noticed an uptick in abused women seeking help. She said she believes the women coming together to tell their stories of alleged abuse by Cosby will empower more women to come forward.
"It says that you have a voice, just use your voice. Don't squelch it. Make it known," she said. "It's hard, because you feel like it reflects on you, that you're the one that got yourself in, because we're so used to victim-blaming."
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Rubin said she herself had to reach her breaking point alone -- and that it took her several years and more than one separation and reconciliation with her abusive husband to do so. Her daughters begged her to leave their father, to whom she was married for 23 years before she finally got out of the relationship, she said.
What pushed her over the edge was "when he put his hands around my throat," Rubin said. "I kept saying, 'I'm done,' but when he actually put his hands around my throat ... I called the Women's Center. I was a caller. That was in 1995."
Her mother helped her by renting her an apartment, and she made a plan. She and her daughters -- 11, 15 and 18 at the time -- left while her husband was away on a business trip.
Now, nearly two decades later, Rubin says she's at the best place in her life.
Cosby's accusers banding together is a step in the right direction and much progress has been made since her own abuse began in the 1970s, Rubin said -- but there's still work to be done, she cautioned.
"Seeing them the way they actually are in a large group is powerful. I hope that individual women do find their voice and tell their story and aren't afraid," she said. "I think it really has to be a dialogue with men ... That's what we need, is men talking about how they can be virile and strong and not be sexually aggressive. I think we have a ways to go, but it's great that people are talking about it."
