Another Reason to be Glad John Edwards Isn't President

Aide's book proposal alleges secret sex tape

By SARA K. SMITH

Updated 11:27 PM EST, Tue, Jun 30, 2009

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John Edwards presents an object lesson in why no politician should ever get involved with a videographer.

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It would be a lot easier to put the whole "John Edwards is a loathsome wife-cheating weasel" story to rest if the story did not grow ever more fascinatingly gross at every turn. But the more you learn about it, the more horrifying it becomes, so let's review the latest squicky developments that will make you glad he will never serve in public office again.

Andrew Young worked as an aide and confidant to John Edwards for many years, and when Edwards' mistress mysteriously turned up pregnant, Young said, "Ah yes, that baby is mine, of course" even though the baby was not his. (So says he in a much-discussed book proposal that made its way around New York before the book was purchased by St. Martin's Press.)

Now Young is also alleging that he accidentally came across a tape of John Edwards having sex with Rielle Hunter. You see, he and his wife and kids lived with Hunter for a time, and apparently their belongings got mixed up together (?!), so that when the Young family moved to a different house, Andrew discovered this horror:

While he was unpacking, Young discovered a videocassette, according to the book pitch. Hunter had been hired by the Edwards campaign to videotape the candidate’s movements, but this one is said to have shown him taking positions that weren’t on his official platform.

Let this be a lesson to you, adulterers: avoid entanglements with videographers. The tapes that Hunter made of Edwards with his clothes on were embarrassing enough. Can you imagine what eye-melting, soul-searing dreadfulness Andrew Young has saved us all from witnessing by keeping this purported sex tape private?

On second thought, don't. If such a tape actually exists, it will doubtless be airing on every 24-hour cable news show in the next couple of weeks.

Political muse and crystal-worshipper Sara K. Smith writes for NBC and Wonkette.