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Lenny Dykstra Needs You to Bail Him Out

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Former Phillies player Lenny Dykstra claims his life was stolen by the financial institutions he says set him up to fail.
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In what I’d charitably describe as the least noble endeavor ever in the history of lame nonprofit causes, a new website is openly soliciting donations to help disgraced former Phillies star Lenny Dykstra pay his bail:

To bond him out, it requires $40-50,000 in cash to pay the bail bond agent, and collateral of $500,000 to secure the bond. The $500K collateral for the bond has been secured, however – the bond premium is still needed.

You can help donate to the premium via PayPal, or with a major credit card. Or you can be a rational human being and conclude that you have absolutely no problem with Lenny Dykstra sitting in a jail cell.

It isn’t clear if Dykstra is behind the site or not, but it doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together. While I appreciate the fact that, for once, Lenny isn’t actually promising to pay back money someone gave to him, this is a hilariously lame effort by the site to paint Dykstra as a victim. The site goes into a whole spiel about Lenny being held in jail without being processed, as if he were airlifted into a Kafka novel. Keep in mind this is the same Lenny Dykstra who once bought Wayne Gretzky’s house and showed “Real Sports” all the cool stuff he spent his money on (money he may never have actually had). COOL BRAH! You want to help Lenny Dykstra? Then let him sit in prison for a good long time.

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