Last week, those mean meanies at GQ magazine named Philadelphia fans (including Phillies fans) the worst in all of sports. But now, a market research firm called Brand Keys has conducted a survey that found Phillies fans are actually the most loyal in all of baseball:
Brand Keys President Robert Passikoff said in an interview with Bloomberg, “With the Phillies, every game seems to count to the whole team. They seem to take it more personally.”
That’s all well and good. Soak in your victory, Phillies fans. Out of all fanbases, YOU are the ones most likely to be suckered in by a Phillies CapitalOne direct mail piece. I'm sure you couldn’t be prouder.
Here’s the real deal with these fan surveys: They’re worthless. They mean absolutely nothing. Like those annual surveys that show America loses $4 trillion in "productivity" a year because of March Madness pools, surveys like this purport to be some kind of definitive proof of something that you and I both know is inherently unmeasurable. There are good Phillies fans. There are lousy Phillies fans. Just as there as good Astros fans and poor Astros fans.
How you define a "fan" and what you consider an acceptable amount of loyalty remains firmly in the eye of the beholder. In fact, I’d argue the only sure way to tell if a fanbase sucks or not is if they actually believe some random marketing survey that says they’re better than everyone else.
That’s something Red Sox fans would totally be into.