Bengals wideout Chad Ochocinco tweets a lot. A LOT. He has nearly 20,000 tweets to his name, and that’s only counting the ones where he’s flirting with groupies. But sometimes, Ocho will use his feed to call out much more pressing social issues, such as: Why are people hitting him so hard during the preseason?
In case you missed it, Eagles linebacker Stewart Bradley housed Ocho on Friday night. That’s Bradley for you. Always hitting hard, even in the preseason. He even listens to Arcade Fire! So dreamy. Anyway, Ocho took exception to Stew’s surplus of effort Friday night and delivered this series of playfully(?) angry tweets.
Man Im sick of getting hit like that , its the damn preseason s--t! 1day I'm gone jump up and start throwing hay makers , #Tylenolplease
That was followed by this:
@terrellowens Batman, i am seeing double right now,my head f--king hurts, this is total bull droppings , its only preseason, why they hit me
@stewbradley Stew that was a great hit you caught me with last night, if i ever see you in public i am gonna whoop your a--, #justsayin
Then, finally, this:
@StewBradley Stew did you see the movie the Colour Purple? Man i almost went MS. SOPHIA on yo a-- after that hit
Awww, poor Ocho. Let’s all give him a Booboo Bird and a tube of Neosporin so that his little ouchie can get better. And let’s get him a red jersey for him to wear during the preseason, so that everyone knows he is a delicate little flower who cannot be watered too vigorously.
One of the fun things about Twitter is that, when it’s used by famous people who don’t know how to properly spell or punctuate, context is always in danger of getting lost. Sure, Ocho seems to be a bit playful in his tweets about that hit. OR IS HE? Maybe he’s just a whiny little brat who can’t tolerate the idea of people actually trying in the preseason. I’d like to think it’s the latter. And, thanks to the lack of nuance in Ocho’s writing, I totally can!
For his part, Bradley retorted thusly:
@OGOchoCinco hope the heads feeling alright. We just had a real long training camp ya know, and we hit everyday so...
So, so dreamy. I wonder if he’d be interested in going rock climbing with me sometime.