PHILADELPHIA - SEPTEMBER 02: The Philadelphia Eagles cheerleaders perform during a preseason game against the New York Jets at Lincoln Financial Field on September 2, 2010 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Images)
The wait for football is interminable. While some of us deal with this boredom and uncertainty by setting up fantasy teams and taking practice runs at spending Sundays on a couch, and others by getting terribly fat (we call those "Albert Haynesworths"), still others attempt to count, quantify, and calculate the bejeezus out of the NFL in meaningless reports.
Don't hate those people, they're just bored and nerdy. And occasionally, their surveys turn out to be interesting. This isn't necessarily one of those times.
But that didn't stop the Neilsen Media Research Group, the company that kills your favorite TV shows, from training their beady eye on the NFL to determine which teams dominate local team ratings, gross national TV audience, "online buzz volume," and team website traffic. The results of their "Popularity Index" don't mean much in the scheme of thi ---
Wait, what? The Eagles beat the Jets in Internet mentions, you say? HAND PHILADELPHIA A TROPHY, YOU BASEMENT-DWELLING DRONES, AND TWO FINGERS UP TO THE EAST!
YOU SEE THOSE, REX RYAN? AND YOU DID "HARD KNOCKS!" WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Dallas topped the Popularity Index with a total score of 100 [requisite chorus of boos, spitting], followed by the Steelers, Giants, Bears, and Packers.
The Eagles notched a seventh place showing, thanks in large part to a high 4th place finish in web traffic to Eagles.com. (What can we say? That pixilated Andy Reid is sexy. Like looking at the puckered end of a grilled hot dog.)
Interestingly, the Eagles did better nationally on television (8th place) than they fared locally (6th), meaning that Americans across the board will watch the Eagles no matter the broadcast market, and Actual Eagles Fans have apparently been driven to bars to watch in the comfort of community, beer, and a single TV.
When you think about it, that the Eagles enjoy any national popularity at all while carrying Mike Vick is an achievement indeed. And it could always be worse: with a total score of 66, the Eagles can still sit at the cool kids' table while the Rams and Bucs enjoy the knowledge that both their scores combined are still totally humiliating.