Birds' Nest
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Jeremy Maclin: I'm Not Dying

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    NEWSLETTERS

    The Eagles already suffered a major health scare earlier this month when Mike Patterson collapsed on the field. Now it's time to turn our attention to wideout Jeremy Maclin, who has yet to practice with the team this preseason due to an illness that is apparently yet to be diagnosed:

    "The Philadelphia Eagles have been mum on what's wrong with starting WR Jeremy Maclin, who remains absent from practice due to an undisclosed health condition.

    (Andy) Reid said that Maclin is "still being tested." Apparently, that means nobody knows yet what's wrong.

    Maclin told the Philadelphia Inquirer on Saturday that the "crazy reports" of a career-threatening illness 'aren't true.'"

    Whatever the illness turns out to be, at least we know it isn't lupus, because IT'S NEVER LUPUS. Seriously though, Maclin's illness is fascinating because we live in a world where you can see an NFL player go down on the field and get a report up to the booth two minutes later about which precise ligaments that player shredded into coleslaw. NFL players are so closely monitored and have such incredible access to medical resources that the idea of a prominent NFL player having a nagging undisclosed illness since April (APRIL!), will get people talking.

    It's frightening because if no one can figure out what's wrong by now, then something REALLY HAS TO BE WRONG. That's just the next assumption people make when no one knows what's wrong with you. BRAIN LOCUSTS! HE HAS BRAIN LOCUSTS! EVERYTHING FITS!

    Maclin had 10 TD catches and nearly 1,000 yards receiving, making him a perfect complement to DeSean Jackson. This is a team that has dedicated its offseason to making an all-out title run, and Maclin's involvement (and dare I say his improvement) were supposed to be a given. But suddenly, no one quite knows when Maclin will return to the field, or what's keeping him off it.

    That'll get people wondering, oh yes it will.